Try this:

Stand on one leg.
Throw a weight ball (only 2kgs in my case) at a very tight trampoline-lookin-thing up on an angle.
Catch the ball as it comes whizzing back at you at about three times the speed at which you threw it.

Did you get smacked in the face too? Or did you just fall down?

Anyway, that's my new favourite exercise at PT. Someday I'll graduate to doing it on one leg *while* standing on an inverted half-ball.

I'm going to be very very sore tomorrow.

grumble grumble

argh.sigh.piss.moan.bitch.wail.pout.

it hasn't been a pretty day. I'm funkin, and not in a Bootsy Collins sorta way. was supposed to be off at 8, got home at 10 (insert long pathetic story about the store's front door lock core falling out--yes, really--here)(I don't even get time-and-a-half for today...we get an extra DOLLAR an hour and a floating holiday. yep). was supposed to go in at 9am tomorrow, am now going in at 7. no breaks no lunch no support until 2pm (I leave at 3). I do love my job, I do. but I am so ready to find a job I can merely tolerate just so I can have normal days off and far less drama.

that's my dream job, in a nutshell: "Normal folks' hours and .5% drama"

soon soon I'll clambor out of this fog and be my bright shiny self again. 'til then, I suggest you keep some chocolate and some soothing tunes at the ready in case you bump into me. you know... calms the savage beast and all that...

addendum

Apparently the people I rode with yesterday morning aren't heartless jerks after all (said, I have to clarify, with tongue firmly implanted in cheek; I really never believed they were...complete...jerks). Later yesterday morning I got a voice mail from the original fellow that had posted looking for people to ride with. He said they were glad to find that I'd made it out okay--that they'd actually been quite concerned, asking other riders and hikers if they'd seen me--and that he was very sorry about the trail being so god-awful rocky and steep. We had originally planned to ride a different trail, but plans changed at the last minute when some other folks joined up. He had no idea the new trail was going to be quite as rough as it was.

I also got an email last night from the woman that took us on that trail; she was also very nice in saying that that trail was a bad choice, given my profession of being weak in the knees, and that she was sorry it ended up being an abbreviated ride for me, etc. etc. etc.

It was just nice that they took the time to contact me; I appreciate that quite a lot. Up! Up! With People!

: P

dot dot dot

so the last *actual* post was just me venting and being all negative and bitchy, and I apologise for that. Sometimes people just get me down. I'm off today, however, so I only have to interact with people with whom I *want* to interact. Hooray.

Just a few quick comments about the psychology of physical therapy. I find it much easier to get my stretches and exercises done now because I know *why* I'm doing them. They are not mindless repetitions that will lead me to some arbitrary level of fitness. I know they are meant to strengthen certain muscles and (hopefully) allow me to continue doing the things that I love. I do better with my workouts when I'm "training" for an event, as well. When I have specific goals to work towards, everything makes sense and I can stay so much more focused and committed. Heaven knows I can use blinders once in a while... :D

That said, I (attempted) to go for a bike ride again this morning..again with total strangers. As it turned out, they were going on a very rocky trail that was pretty much *all* climbing--despite my original email stating quite plainly that I prefered something a little more easy going (I didn't know which trail we were riding until I met up with them, or I'd have never gotten up at 4:30am on my day off!). I bailed out early. My head was not in the game, as evidenced by the fact that I nearly wiped 20 feet into the trail on a switchback littered with softball sized loose rock...and then another 50 feet later in the creekbed strewn with what appeared to be sheets of nasty sharp limestone poking up at daunting angles. I rode about a mile before I decided that a major wreck was immenent--and besides, my knee was already starting to cry foul and we hadn't even gotten to the climbing bits yet.

I feel a little bad about bailing out, but then again the other three folk I'd gone with were so far ahead that I couldn't even have shouted out to them. On a trail I'd never been on. How's that for hospitality? To be fair, I'd mentioned the knee thing several times and told them I'd be taking it easy--that they should wait up only if there was a break in the trail so I'd know which route to take. We even discussed directions back to S's house in case I did decide to bail out. Still. I long to meet the folks that would have stayed with me despite all that--just because it's the nice thing to do. I rode with some fellas a few weeks back that have that capacity, I think, but getting together again has proven nigh on impossible, what with me having the shittiest work schedule on the planet and everything. I just have to keep trying, as Russell reminds me every time I try to bail on a ride. If I don't get out there, I definately won't meet my new friends!

so...yeah...

Yep. Pretty Much.

I am a hybrid of: Progressive Girl Athletic Girl Click on the pictures below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

Do Not:

....Try to get preferential treatment at any retail establishment by saying "I shop here all the time." The people you say this to are AT THAT STORE 40 hours a week (or more), and they do not know you from Adam. I know who our regular customers are, and it irks me to no end when someone I've never ever seen before insists that they are "a regular".

This happens to us all the time at the store. A few days ago I had a lady tell me she would bring in her medical bills to prove that she'd been unable to use her coupon that expired on April 29th, and could she please still use it because "...I'm in your store all the time". This, for $10 off a purchase of $50 or more.

Yesterday, a woman wanted to return a USED wine carafe and a bottle of wine "that cost more than I wanted to pay..." (I kid you not. This is the second time someone returned something with that excuse--who is blindfolding and earplugging these people that they have NO CLUE how much the items are that they have picked up off the shelf are going to cost?) We pointed out that wine was really very hot--to the point where it was now leaking out the cork, but she insisted then that the wine must be bad anyway because she'd just driven straight from her home (yeah, where the bottle of wine had been sitting in your car since the day you purchased it?). "Look," she said, "I shop here all the time..." Oh! I'm sorry, since you are obviously such a great customer, I assumed that you KNOW that we DON'T DO RETURNS ON ALCOHOL and other consumables! And since you are a regular here, I'm would have thought that you've been coached numerous times on what not to do with your bottle of wine, unless you want it to turn to vinegar--that is to say, don't leave it in your car in 100+ degree temperatures.

Sometimes, people just piss me off.

The boy needs equal billing...

what a mighty closeup this is. but what a handsome boy! note the fantastically tough-looking collar his daddy picked out for him. it doesn't fool many people; Bucket's just too much of a wuss to carry off the badass image. anyway, this handsome boy came to the door this evening covered in poo. He and Delilah had been roughhousing in the yard, and he apparently ran right through a nasty mess of it. How he flung it up onto his side is still beyond me.

I love my dogs.

Delilah the Premiere!

This is our sweet little hoover hound Delilah, as captured by the new digicam. I wanted to crop it down, but haven't gotten that far yet. I think Photoshop is going to have to be the way I go, but I don't have a link to the program from my login screen and I'm too lazy right now to go searching the computer for it. This thing is so compartmentalised that it could take hours. You think I'm kidding, don't you? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Doesn't she have the most beautiful eyes? I love her little black mask. It's a shame she doesn't smile more. She always looks so depressed. She has a fantastic grin. I'll get a new shot of that soon.

Oh, and here's my "new" car, which I've had for just over a year, and which is now 6 years old. I washed it yesterday, so it's bright and shiny and fun again:

Leftist Leanings

When I started mentioning to folks that I was going in for physical therapy, I'd invariably get one of two reactions. From the folks that had never been, I'd get the concerned look and "oh? what for?" sorts of questions. From the folks that have been through it, I'd hear "Oh. Good luck." And they would then launch into some horror story about how their PT or their friend's/brother's/mom's/boss's PT unleashed heretofore unknown levels of torture and torment on their delicate little bodies. Great. Thanks so much for that.

I have to say, that after my first trip to the PT...I LOVE IT. I walked out feeling a little stiff and sore, and now my body aches like I've just run a marathon (well, actually, it's my left knee--sort of odd because it's my right knee/ankle that tend to be problematic...more about that later), but I can honestly say that I can't WAIT to go back. (then again, I always have been a glutton for punishment) I love the girl that is working with me. She put me through more of an exam than I've ever had from any doctor. She watched me do lunges, balance on each leg, touch my toes, bend over backwards...you name it. She was watching to see my alignment and balance, checking to see where my weaknesses are, and on and on and on. She poked and prodded my lower back, looked at the arches of my feet (I have a funky, but common, shape in my left foot that causes the inside of the front of my foot to sort of arch up...so my pinky toe/outer toes touch down first, followed by my big toes.)

I would not have been able to tell you this going in, but apparently my left side (hip-foot) is very weak and tight. She suspects that a lot of my problems in my right knee are due to overcompensation. She also said that it's very possible that a good part of my lower back pain is a direct result of the stiffness that I have in my hips and upper quads/hamstrings. I knew hamstrings could be an issue, but not quads/hips. I just knew that mine were pretty much always sore and tight.

I have some exercises and stretches to do that will a) work on my lower abdominals and obliques, which will help keep my spine aligned and alleviate some of the pressure from the disc protrusion/degeneration) and loosen up some of those muscles that might be drawing everything up too much--causing that pressure.

My PT had a herniated disc last year (a very amusing--albeit sad--story involving a slip down the stairs after trying to step on a particularly annoying cricket), and she's back to being able to run, so I have high hopes. I have a feeling I will quickly grow tired of the exercises I have to do, but I will just have to imagine a sedentary life with out running and mt. biking and I'm sure that will be impetus enough. I'm going back on Wednesday and Friday this week, and I think that I'm going to be doing some weight training and more challenging exercises under her watchful eye, so it should be good.

In other news, I'm still fiddling with the camera--it can do some cooooool stuff...I just gotta figure out how to get it to YOU.
That's all. Dinner awaits.

more heathens than you can shake a stick at

So our brilliant idea was to go see The DaVinci Code at 9am on a Sunday morning. The reasoning, of course, was that there would be far fewer people. Not so, mon frere, not so. I was pretty surprised at the number of folks who had the same idea we had--and that they were not detained by church. Of course A) maybe they had special early services today so that they could all come out en masse and see what all the fuss was about and B) I constantly forget--and am thusly reminded--that we no longer live in the buckle of the bible belt...

At any rate, we saw the movie with a hundred-plus other folk and no bonfires were lit; nor were any rotten tomatoes thrown at the screen. It was a decent film. It should not surprise me that I didn't enjoy it as much as the book, but I think they did a good job with the content. I especially appreciate that there is a VERY fuzzy line between good and evil amongst the characters. I think naysayers should be force-fed this film; they might realise that they are creating more of an issue out of it than would ever had arisen if they'd just pipe the hell down and let folks create a nice work of fiction.

Anyway. As though you needed it...evidence of why I'm not a film reviewer. : )

I'm still fiddling with the new digi-cam, so you'll have to continue your wagers and guessing as to which photos will be uploaded first. It's a damn complicated machine for being such a tiny point-and-shoot thing. It does movies too, which should be entertaining once I figure them out as well. Maybe you'll finally get to see evidence of the Bucket & Delilah freak show known as "Dentist Time".

Yes Please!

Oh Shanny, yes! If Diana can recommend a good yoga instructor here, I would *love* to start going. I practiced several years ago when I was in Omaha (I almost typed Ohmaha! rofl), and remember being astounded at how energised I was after a "workout" that involved a lot corpse posing. Plus, I'm sure it would help with my back--all the stretching and core strengthening would be wonderful. I wasn't able to take any classes at the gym I never went to here, because of my schedule..but perhaps an independent instructor will have a more flexible schedule. So yes! Thanks for the offer. : )

In other exciting news, our (my?) new digital camera arrived today and it is a tiny tiny thing. Like, deck of cards small. Like, I'm afraid to touch it on account of the inherent connection between my klutzy nature and my hands. However, I have another 4 or 5 hours to get over it, because that's how long the battery will take to charge. *sigh* Nothing like getting a new toy and then finding out you can only LOOK at it for half a day. By the time the battery is ready to go, I'll be ready for bed. The heat flares up early, so I have to beat it in order to walk the dogs before the temperature breaks 100 degrees.

Today it was 105 and 9% humidity. I have to laugh when I hear numbers like that. Wanna know what it's like? Stick your head in your oven at its lowest setting and you'll have a pretty good idea. Above 110-115 it all feels pretty much the same. It's getting ugly here, and it's only May. I get pissy thinking about waking up at 7 to take the dogs out, but soon I'll have to start getting up around 5am, because it will be too damn hot at 7am. One day last year it was 98 at 7am, I kid you not. Yes, yes, it's wrong. So very wrong. But I'll be thinking of you all next January when it's 75 degrees here under completely clear blues skies. Yes.

fumbling for words

Never really a problem for me in real life, but they never fail to elude me here. No snazzy eye pics, as the camera due to us is out of stock at the moment. Apparently we'll be receiving it....soon.

We'll also be using the camera to take some nice photos of the hounds, as we fully expect one of them (Bucket, who are we kidding?) to be chosen as the new Old Navy Mascot. Not that we're big proponents of Old Navy or anything, but there is really only so much cuteness that we can contain in this house. We really owe it to the world to share. Plus, he can wave, crawl, and now "stand". What's not to love? Oh, and plus it probably pays well, and if I can be a stage mom to my dog instead of a slave to the idiot people that shop retail (yes, I'm fully aware that I am one of them), count me 100% IN!

So yeah. Those are the big plans for the camera. As for life in general? Got an appointment tomorrow with the Doc, whom I'm going to grill about the results of my MRI. A 15 second message from her assistant giving me the facts and nothing in the way of explanation is NOT going to cut it. So. There.

Been walking with the dogs every other morning or so. It's about a 1.5 mile route, so I get to go a full three miles. I would really *REALLY* rather jog it, but the motion tends to cause a boatload of back (and knee) pain for me. Perhaps after a few go-rounds at the PT's, I'll get to go for it again. Some good strenthening and stretching moves will, I hope, work wonders. I've taken to stretching for about 10-15 minutes before bed every night, and that has seemed to help quite a bit. It's a pain in my butt to have to do it, but a woman I work with has to ice her back for an hour every morning, so I guess I can suck it up for 15 minutes sans ice.

That's all I got.

New Specs

Okay. Here they are (again, click on black to see the colour combo): My New Specs. They are a little retro, a little modern, and as close to a cateye frame as I'm ever gonna get. I think I'm in love.

I haven't had new lenses in as long as I've had the old frames--my prescription just didn't change enough to warrant it--so it was a big surprise to put these on. The lenses are also considerably smaller than my old ones, so I see a lot of the frame, which I'm sure throws things off a bit. Oh, and they are scratch and smudge free, which I'm sure helps immensely. :D

Apparently we are due to get a new digicam just any day now too--my how we love our tech toys!--so I'll get some photo proof of the new look soon.

No news is....no news.

So my doc's office called me back today, stating that if my back continues to bother me, I could make another appointment... Um..well yeah, that's just it. The whole reason I wanted the MRI in the first place is that my back pretty consistently--as in ALL THE TIME--bothers me. So I'm going in next Wednesday. Probably little point in that, as I don't think there is really anything Dr. G feels like she can do. I think I found a Physical Therapist to try--they are close by and the website looks nice; maybe they will get me going in the right direction.

In more fun news, I get to pick up my new glasses tomorrow! My first new frames in...a really long time. Like 5 years maybe? If our digicam was working, I promise I would have photos to show you, but alas, it has taken a dive into the shallow end of the pool. I'll at least post a link to a pic when I get the exact model. This might be them (click on Black--that's the right colour, at least). I don't really recall.

So now I need a new hair-do to go with my new specs. *sigh* I hate having to find new people to take care of me every few years. It's a terrible drag.

At any rate, that's all I have to blather about for the moment. Gotta work at the butt-crack of dawn, so I'm going to head towards the realm of sleep.

Vindication!

....never felt so unsatisfying.

I left work yesterday evening to find the following message on my phone: "This is so-and-so from Dr.Whatsit's office. Here are the results of your MRI: You have a small protrusion at L4-L5 and mumblemumblemumble degeneration at L3-L4 and L4-L5. Again, you have a small protrusion at L4-L5 and garblemumblestaticmumble degeneration at L3-L4 and L4-L5. If you have any questions, call us at......"

Um. Hell yeah I have questions! Questions like "What are you going to do about it?" Questions like "When will the doctor see me to fix it and make it better?" and "What the hell kind of degeneration do I *really* have?"

So yeah. I have some actual physical issues with my back. Concrete evidence that the pain is not all in my head or just some wierd muscular aches. But the main question remains, and looms a bit more menacingly now....What can I do about it?

I'll keep you posted.

Magnetic Fields

There's nothing really like a ginormous, super-high-powered magnet whirling away mere inches from your body.

I'd read somewhere online that fully loaded pallet jacks had been sucked into the mouths of MRI machines, so when the technician told me I could set my locker key down on a table just a few feet from the machine, I kinda figured I was done for. Visions of projectile keys--aimed at my skull--floated in my nervous head.

I escaped such an ignominous fate; I suppose the newfangled machine I was in was geared down a bit--or maybe the key was made of some fantasically metal-like, yet non-magnetic material... The key stayed in its place on the little plastic table. One hazard avoided.

I also got to leave my (also apparently non-magnetic) rings on my fingers and toe. I did notice, though, a not-so-faint tingling sensation in my fingers during each little session. During the time that I rested my hands on my chest or belly, I could certainly feel that tingling through my body. I fully expect the doctor to call me up and say that they have to re-take some of the images due to some mysterious jiggling of my innards. Jiggling innards=blurry images. The technician told me so, right after he offered me a tissue--concievably to stem my constant sniffling (hello? have you met me? oh. no you haven't. I sniffle. A lot.)

So I'm laid out on a plastic-y bed-ish sort of thing, complete with a comfy pillow and a wedge for under my knees. I get squishy earplugs, because the machine is hella loud. A big half-circle cage thing goes down over my torso, effectively strapping me down and placing me in mummy position (arms at my sides or crossed in front of me--my choice, and changeable during 5-10 second breaks during the procedure). The tech places a white washcloth over my eyes..."To keep out the blowing air--kind of like on airplanes--the engineers didn't account for that bit of discomfort" and explains the noisiness that is about to ensue. There will be 4 (or was it 5) short sessions of the MRI machine doing its thing. A few minutes here, a few minutes there. Between each session, he'll give me a little signal that I can twitch or change arm positions or sniffle. As long as I'm *COMPLETELY* still while the machine is running, it's all good.

The first session is short--piece of cake. There is a chirping sound from the machine that, if I keep my eyes closed (and why not? can't see anything through the washcloth anyway), I can almost imagine that it sounds a little like a bird twittering in a lovely pastoral scene. Nevermind the clicking, humming, buzzing business going on around my lower back. I stay in the same position for the second session, which is four minutes. Four minutes doesn't seem like a long time, but when you've been lying in the same EXACT position for the previous 3 minutes, things start to get....itchy. I can now feel every individual hair on my head an body, and every follicle is demanding the attention of a fingernail. I repress the urge to scratch, take some deep breaths (slowly, so's not to do undo jiggle-damage), and manage to stay still. By the time four minutes pass and I get another short break, I know that I cannot succumb. If I do, I'll never be able to stop.

The next pass is another four minutes, and I've lowered my arms to my sides for this one. Big mistake. They almost immediately started to fall asleep, as they are wedged against the bars of the cage. Perhaps the frustration of this is what triggers me into a near panic over the thought that, not only can't I move my arms, I can't sit up or *really* move in any other manner either. I don't really consider myself claustrophobic, but I hate large crowds, and I have serious issues with being "pinned" in any way, so I had some serious issues with the idea that I was pretty much at the whimsy of the MRI tech watching from the other room. What was I going to do, wiggle my feet at him if I needed to get out? I take a few more deep breaths and get a hold of myself. It's only a few more minutes, after all.

Indeed, shortly after my short little dance with a panic attack, I hear the machine wind down. But there is no reassuring tin voice from the other room. Several very very long seconds pass, and I start to panic again. Did he step away to use the toilet? Did a bomb threat evacuate the building? How the hell am I going to get out of here if he doesn't come back? I'm sure isn't more than 20-30 seconds, but it feels like days before I hear him say that the next pass would be 5 minutes. Five Minutes. I cross my arms over my chest this time. Slightly more comfortable than having them at my side, but with the added fun of the possibility that they might slide down at any moment. I spend those five mintues concentrating very hard on keeping my arms in the same position on my chest, panicking just a little more, and wishing like hell that someone would come along and scratch the side of my nose.

Finally, five minutes is up. I doze off a time or two. I am getting the hang of it, and getting more and more freaked out. Genious, the way our bodies and brains are programmed! One more short session, and I am free. I concentrate on the bird singing behind my head, and wonder what the technician thinks of my feet, which were bare and nasty and pointed directly at his seat in the other room. I try to peek out from under the washcloth a few times, to no avail. I can see nothing because there is a giant white plastic tube a few inches from the washcloth. They tend to obstruct your vision.

I wait again for the tinny voice from the tech, but instead I feel myself starting to move out of the tube. Suddenly, there is light, and the washcloth is lifted. My plastic cage is unlocked, and I am encouraged to sit up. I immediately scratch (nearly) every inch of my skin--my head, my face, arms, legs...it all itches like I'm covered in BEES (props to Eddie Izzard). But I'm done.

The images will be sent "upstairs"; the folks there will read them and then call my doc with their findings. My doc will then call me and I'll get the watered down version of what's going on in my lower back. I hope that I get to see the images at some point, if for no other reason than it would be super cool to see inside my body. That, and some answers.

Takin Care of Business

I finally went to the optometrist today. I have had insurance for over a year now, but have dragged my heels on going for no other reason than I was overwhelmed with the choices in doctors. No one I knew could recommend anyone, so I was taking wild stabs in the dark. Earlier this week (birthdays always seem to spur me into action on these things) I finally sucked it up and just *picked* a doc. The office is close to where I do grocery and other shopping, I am familiar with the area, and I didn't know much else.

As it turns out, I picked a winner! I walked in, filled out some paperwork and was told that I could have a seat or look around. Of course I had to look around, as I've had the same (and apparently woefully out-of-date) frames for about an eternity now. The girl at the front desk immediately jumped up and asked if I knew what I was looking for--I gave her a few of my preferences, she shut me down (I was thinking I wanted to try frameless, but I hate nosepieces...turns out you can't have one without the other..go figure), and showed me some alternatives. I tried on about 10 or 15 different frames, but I ended up choosing the first or maybe second pair she showed me. This girl was good!

The doc was great too; a lot of fun to talk to, and of course seemed to know his eyes. My prescription has changed another fraction of a blip--good to know I'm holding steady--and I'll get to pick up my new specs in about a week. Wheeha.

Tomorrow...da.da.da....I'm going in for an MRI on my lower back. I complained (and cried) enough to my primary that she asked if I would like to have one. HELL YES. Hopefully they can tell me why I'm in pain every day of my life and can barely get out of bed some mornings. I'm a little nervous about it, as well as being excited as all get out. I'm excited that they might figure out what's going on so I can get it fixed, and afraid that they will find nothing visibly wrong and not know what to do with me. The horribly twisted part is that, after taking my ride (and crash) last Saturday morning, and hiking/climbing Bell Rock on Sunday, my back has felt better this week than it has in a long time. Obviously a sign that I *don't*, in fact, need to "moderate" my activity. I need to get out MORE! The Primary also prescribed physical therapy for my back and knee, so after I find out what's going on, I'm going to get that set up so I can get muscled up and avoid further injury.

Hooray for all those years of running track, playing soccer, swimming, and mt. biking.

The Good Times Are Over!

Or....life imitates art. A friend of mine at work was telling me about her friend's bachelor party, and the unfortunate circumstance that led to three of the guys being arrested for..."questionable" activities--on the streets of Mexico, no less. I laughed so hard that I had to gasp for air, and wouldn't you know it? The little gnat thing that had been plagueing the breakroom went straight down my throat.

Well that's how my day went yesterday.